Fumbling Towards Ectasy
by darkestbeforedawn
Summary: [updated 10.10.04] five years into the future of 'bouquet'. what has changed, and what hasn't. the most important things... they never change. [multiple pairings] [shounen ai & shoujo ai & heterosexual couples]
1. Possession

[]Fumbling Towards Ectasy[]

by: darkestbeforedawn  
summary: five years into the future of 'bouquet'. what has changed, and what hasn't. the most important things... they _never _ change. [multiple pairings] [shounen ai & shoujo ai & heterosexual couples]

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_And I would be the one  
to hold you down  
kiss you so hard  
I'll take your breath away  
and after, I'd wipe away the tears  
just close your eyes dear. _

-- 'Possession', _Sarah McLachlan _

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Five years pass by quickly, if you don't really pay attention and let happiness embed it's roots into your soul. If you don't let sadness eat away at you, and let it go, everything seems to be on a constant fast-forward button.

That was how I felt until Akito died.

We all knew it was coming... I thought I had prepared for this day enough. I kept a smile on for him. But subconsciously, I did it for myself as well. I never really dwelled on him actually dying... it was at the back of my mind when we talked, when we kissed, when he finally hesitantly returned my caresses...

It was funny how fast five years passed by, and how long his funeral was. Alot of people had attended, odd enough.

Tohru had finally managed to worm her way into his heart. He would never admit it, but from the way he scowled at her less-than-bright antics, he sounded more fond than angry. It took her two years to do so... but she did. And I guess, Akito would've been content knowing that she was the one crying most.

I didn't cry at all. Are you proud of me?

I'm not. I want so badly to do that.. but I have to be strong for the sobbing girl in my arms.

It's ironic. When we had all finally pulled together as a family... when we had finally created a paradise... You had to leave me.

Are you trying to spite me for all those times I've teased you? If you are, it's not working. I hate myself more than I could ever, _ever _ hate you.

Ritsu had promised you he would look after me. But what about himself? He's silently watching as your coffin is lowered into the ground, eternally leaving us behind.

You are cruel, you know that? You left two people behind. I should claw the coffin out of the ground and wring your neck, just for that.

I can actually hear your laugh. See your smirk.

How is it possible that five years passed this quickly?

... Your face in the sunlight. An invisible smile etched into that pale face of your's.

Five years... isn't that long at all...

... especially when _I _ was the one that made you smile.

--- 'Possession' -- Shigure's POV

i'm back! -smiles- as you can see, the story is a little different from bouquet. it's not as happy or as cheerful, i'm making this quite the opposite from it! there will be a different approach for each chapter as well, and this time, i won't be accepting any requests -sweatdrops- sorry! i won't be introducing the couples until i get the plot moving along, so be patient! thanks!

R & R please! 


	2. Wait

Fumbling Towards Ectasy

by: darkestbeforedawn  
summary: five years into the future of 'bouquet'. what has changed, and what hasn't. the most important things... they _never _ change. multiple pairings shounen ai & shoujo ai & heterosexual couples  
  
_You know if I leave you now  
it doesn't mean that I love you any less  
it's just the state I'm in  
I can't be good to anyone else like this_

When all we wanted was the dream  
to have and to hold that precious little thing  
like every generation yields  
the new born hope unjaded by their years... 

-- 'Wait', _Sarah McLachlan _  
  
It was a formal occasion, but from the way we all were dressed, the way we watched as the black-lacuquered coffin was placed into the ground, I could only imagine what it looked like from a stranger's point of view. I'm sure, as much as he would deny it, that he would be glad we didn't do anything fancy or cry as much as one would expect.

Atleast, I didn't see anyone cry. But it could've been the rain, or maybe it was really tears...

It was best off that we didn't know. I might've actually did something stupid again... and god, I hate it when Tohru starts crying...

I was suprised Yuki went though. Maybe not as suprised when he said, 'I want to annoy you for the rest of your life, so let's get married.', five years ago, but he always did keep me on my toes after that. Not as many people were shocked though, and I wonder if everyone had already known before me...

When the funeral ended, we went our seperate ways. I miss living under the same house as them, and honestly, I somehow... maybe it was a foolish wish, but...

... I really had thought for a long time that _this _, Tohru wandering around the house, doing chores, humming, Yuki and I arguing, Shigure dodging Mii, and all the while, looking after us...

I really thought that was _it _. That this, _this _...

_paradise _, was all.

I mean... what else could be out there in the world that hits this close to heaven?

But we _did _ seperate, right after we finished high school.

It was raining on that day too. Tohru had hugged both of us so tight that I thought my legs would collapse under me, and Yuki's scent clunged so desperately to my coat that even now I could smell it. After Tohru left for her train, Yuki kissed me.

I laugh at how calm I'm saying this now, because I was shaking when he pinned me down on the grass.

...It's funny-- from what I heard from Shigure, Akito really liked rainy days. So, I guess, it was only fair to him that the last thing he saw before leaving was salty tears mixed in with the rain...

--- 'Waiting' -- Kyo's POV

-sobs insanely- i'm so sorry for this crappy chapter! and the long-ass wait... -bows- but please, R & R? 


	3. Plenty

Fumbling Towards Ectasy

by: darkestbeforedawn  
summary: five years into the future of 'bouquet'. what has changed, and what hasn't. the most important things... they _never _ change. multiple pairings shounen ai & shoujo ai & heterosexual couples  
  
_I looked into your eyes they told me plenty  
I already knew you never felt a thing  
so soon forgotten all that you do  
in more than words I tried to tell you  
the more I tried I failed  
I would not let myself believe that you might stray  
and I would stand by you no matter what they'd say,  
I would have thought I'd be with you  
until my dying day  
until my dying day... _

-- 'Plenty', _Sarah McLachlan _  
  
My hair clung to the side of cheek, the rain still dutifully pouring down. It has been for a week already, since Tohru and the Prince returned from Osaka.

How did five years go by so quick? How did things change so fast...

... why didn't I notice it until it was too late?

I can hear Uo-chan scold me for standing in this rain. She has grown into something of a mother hen-- something I had expected, quite actually. She went to pursue a job in modeling... who would've thought? Even I never thought she would've.

Alot of things happen that I suppose, never thought would've happened.

I didn't think it was possible, but I graduated high school and got a job as a librarian. Not something I'd ever imagine myself as, but a sickening reminder of what I could've been... could've had...

I am married.

But silly enough, I'm not in love. I am married, and I am a wife, a mother.

Yes, a mother.

It had been a sunny day, one that _she _ would've liked, would've badgered me into--

I was working, stacking books and staring at a group of overly-loud children that had entered.

_He _ had been looking for a book for a presentation, one that would gurantee success and approval with his professors at the university he was in.

I suppose you can say, no book was greater than I in that subject. He had been majoring in Psychology, and he had looked at me with such honest and sincere eyes...

Eyes that reminded of someone so dear...

_And so far away... _

He's a good man, really. An attractive and responisble working husband, and a kind and wonderful father to our little boy...

Yes, our little boy.

Bikawa Tohru, my son.

And a painful reminder to what I could have been.

--- 'Plenty' --- Hanajima's POV

never a happy ending, ne? ahh, but i've been writing lotsa fluff fics lately, so 'fte' has to suffer. bwahaha.. well, thank you to my loyal reviewers and to new ones! and to clear up a little, yes, at this point, yuki & kyo are living together... but... it's not a guaranteed couple. -winks-

R & R!  
  



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